8. When am I going to make a Living? - Al Muqit (The Sustainer) Sade (UK)
Some of you may have seen on Facebook that I mentioned that I have been nominated for the Spirit of Britain Award (by the British Muslim Awards). The ceremony is this week and I have decided that I wont be attending. Im truly humbled by the public vote it means the world to me, it really does. However, I have to be honest. A 6 hour event is too big of a commitment in time that I can give right now. Before I was a mother I didn't have to think twice about these opportunities. I have been blessed to attend black tie dinners and awards nominations in the past. But now I have a little boy who relies on me for everything. Since he came and made me a mother I have been transitioning my life. The whole reason I write this blog post and invite responses is because I am unable to travel and work as before. It took some time to understand but I now live for what I am passionate about rather than a job. My passions now include being a mother. I try and stay fearless. I tell myself just give from a soul level it will come back in someway. I see this nomination as a beautiful example of this.
My Son born premature at 30 weeks fighting to survive.
He is now 4!
The fear of rat race and the 9-5 is always present if I let it. But back in 2002/2003 there was one song I had on constantly every day in the morning as I went to my 9-5pm job back then. It was hell as I felt no matter how hard I worked it was never good enough. My soul was being sucked out and I was becoming a living corpse. This song gave me the courage and belief to think differently and in the end be different. Even today I can hear the words in my heart “I'm hungry but I wont give in”. Im being nominated for the work I went on to do...what a journey so far! But it feels like I am only getting started. I dedicate this to all you souls out their trying to figure out how your gonna make a living.
What songs help you in these moments? Its not easy to remember where your sustenance comes from, its so obvious you have to get a job. First step is almost unlearning what you believe. According to my source the 39th name The Sustainer is the unlimited ability to provide for each and every thing. Its the quality that nourishes our spirit, breath after breath. Breath itself is a kind of nourishment from God that protects us from the death of the heart. This name has been most influential in my thinking and I'm making it a belief that I am my own sustainer. I ask for the same courage I used to have before I became a mother. I am sometimes weak and worry about providing for my son. Then I have to remember that the basics to live are free, its my conditioning that makes me not believe this some days. The basics my son needed to survive was milk, love, warmth and attention.
Sade has been the soundtrack to my life, growing up in Britain. She was one of my favourite artists and continues to be a role model. Even now reading this article about her hasn't changed the way I feel about her. I still learn lots from her as an artist. Reading this also reminded me of the music press and music industry which I find very confusing and judgemental. But it serves a different purpose to mine so we agree to disagree lol!
Lyrics
When am I gonna make a living?
It's gonna take a while before I give in
See the people fussing and thieving
While the sharks are wheeling and dealing
Gotta look up and tell yourself, there's no end to what you can do
They'll waste your body and soul if you allow them to
This is time to start believing in yourself
Put the blame on no-one else
When am I gonna make a living?
It's gonna take a while before I give in
See the people fussing and stealing
Too many lies, no-one is achieving
Haven't I told you before
We're hungry for a life we can't afford?
There's no end to what you can do
If you give yourself a chance to prove
We're hungry but we won't give in
Hungry but we won't give in
Hungry but we won't give in
Hungry but we won't give in